This morning it’s just as cold. So I’ve pulled the chair up, shoes are off and the feet are on the radiator, and my mug of coffee is in reach. Time for a little prayer before the next Mass at 11am.
I want to bring a recent conversation to God. “I feel like I’m being punished” she said as the voice broke and became heaving sobs.
Now as I’m praying I’m aware of how I might deal with the situation if it was me. Easy said of course – I’m not the one staring mortality!
You are not being punished, you are being asked to pick up your Cross and follow him.
You are not being punished, you are being asked to share in Christ’s burden of salvation, to become his intimate co-worker.
You are not being punished, you are being chosen, privileged, and called…
When you think punishment, think the opposite.
God doesn’t punish us.
God is always seeking to save us and when we’re feeling like we’re being punished remember that the worse case scenario is that this experience is “correction” leading ultimately to the realization that life is not ours.
This simple realization is revolutionary but it is also very difficult to reach – or teach – because we’re part of a generation that’s buried itself in itself, that has lost its soul to “my” life and to the glorification of the human body and its ego.
So, when you’re feeling punished know that it is not punishment, but God breaking down the ego and preparing you for greater things.
The truth is that life belongs to God and may I add; to do with as he pleases, which is always to bring you to salvation.
“What have you got that wasn’t given to you?” St. Paul asks.
As these moments of prayer draw to a close I suddenly realize that it’s 10.56am and the Altar isn’t even set for Mass!